Advice for the Recent Grad, and the Rest of Us

With graduation happening at many high schools across the country and the recent graduation of my youngest sister I decided to take this week’s post in a direction that focuses on some advice that I want to communicate to her; that being said, this post is not going to be directed at her specifically but to everyone who is graduating or may be entering into a season of their lives in which there is drastic change. Though it is more focused on the graduate I believe that this post will benefit anyone at any stage of life.

Growing up in the great generation that society and the media has labeled “the millennials” we have quite a negative stigma that is directed towards us. This stigma says that we are all lazy, we are all dependent, and we are all entitled. Those in the older generation are very unsettled and uneasy about the direction the country will be heading once we come of influential age. The sad thing is that a lot of what they say is true; many of us are lazy, many of us are dependent, and have a sense of entitlement. But perhaps what is even sadder, is the fact a lot of what the older generation has done and the philosophies that have been carried over from the 60s-70s are what has shaped our generation. We grew up in a world where everyone got trophies just for “participating”, we have never been told no, we were told happiness is the end goal rather than the product of the end goal, we were told to not put limits on any aspect of our lives, our parents were told if they used corporal punishment it was abuse (and if they did use corporal punishment we would have trouble seeing the “grey area” in moral issues). If I keep listing things I could probably fill up several pages, and that is not what this post is about so I will move on.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that our generation has so many things stacked against us; that being said, there is a way to overcome this stigma but it requires changing your mindset from the conditioning that has taken place throughout our lives. Perhaps the first and most important piece of advice that I can give you is that your happiness is not the highest virtue of life. Happiness is not a goal to be achieved but is the product of achieving your goals. A good example of this alleged “truth” being false is to look at your parents. When people become parents their happiness gets put on the back burner and their primary objective is to ensure the well-being of their children. There can be no doubt that children can be a source of happiness in a parent’s life, but if a parent’s sole concern was their own happiness then what kind of life would the child have? Chances are that the child would be miserable and neglected. Don't get me wrong happiness is a great thing to have but it is something that we are never promised nor guaranteed. 

The second piece of advice that I can give you is to come to the realization that pleasure and pain are amoral; meaning pleasure is not necessarily morally good, nor is pain morally evil. Life is going to get hard sometimes, maybe even harder than you think that you can handle, and I am not going to say here that God won’t give you more than you can bear because that isn’t Biblical. But I have come to learn that from most forms of suffering there tends to be a lesson to be learned from it. Scripture says that from the bad things, God will work them towards our good. We are never promised that we wont go through tough times; in fact if we can learn anything from scripture it is that we can be assured that tough times will come. But when they do come, scripture shows us the right way to handle the obstacles that are thrown our way, and how to find joy in the suffering.

The third piece of advice that I would give to you would be to stop thinking about yourself as an island, because you are not. By this i mean stop allowing yourself to maintain the "me" mentality. When we enter into the “real” world post-high school and even college, we take on the role of a citizen, where the actions and choices that we make do not just affect only ourselves but everyone around us both directly and indirectly. Living life for ourselves ultimately ends in isolation. The concept of individualism is great but you cannot forget that you are an individual who is a part of family, state, country, etc. that is made up of other individuals. Every action that we make bears a consequence and it is irresponsible to not think of those consequences. If Christ only thought about himself and his well being I don't think that he ever would have went to the cross, but the amazing thing is that his thoughts and love for all of us are what drove him towards the ultimate sacrifice.

Finally, the last and perhaps most cliché piece of advice that I can give to you is to keep God first. As overstated as this phrase is, it carries more connotations than what one can perceive from the surface. Before we make a decision, and we pray and ask if what we are doing or about to do is keeping God first it affects the end result. It affects everything, and that is the beauty of it. It is a principle that can be played out in every aspect of our lives. It is a big world and the greatest way that I have found to maintain your sanity is by keeping Christ at the center. Entering into college and a world where you’re free from the rules of your parents, it can be easy to take the opportunity that is before you to rebel. But what is the purpose? Is it fun? Sure, but what are the benefits for your life in the long run? The truth is that there aren’t any good things that can come from living life in a way that is ultimately destructive. It doesn’t help you get a job, create healthy relationships, create a healthy lifestyle, or become successful. 

You are an adult now and the world is going to treat you as such. Don’t live up to the low expectations that the world already has for you.  Prove them wrong, there is nothing more fulfilling than being an overcomer, and that is what I believe our generation is. We are the generation that will overcome the lies that have been spoken over us, and the obstacles that have been placed before us. The only way that this will be possible however is if we realize that it is a tough world and we will need to be tougher. I leave you with a quote from the Apostle Paul found in 1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child I spoke like a child, thought like a child, reasoned like a child. When I became a man(adult) I put away childish things."